Fear
by Sapphire-Raindrop
Summary: Queen Elsa may have everyone else in the kingdom believing that she's perfectly fine, but our favorite mountain man isn't fooled. Kristoff finds himself helping Elsa with her lingering fear, as well as confronting fears of his own concerning his feelings for Princess Anna.
1. the ice guy

Hello! I saw "Frozen" yesterday and I just HAD to post this, because I had a hard time believing that Elsa was just fine and dandy after a lifetime of living in fear. So here's my interpretation of what would happen AFTER all the events of the movie. THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE A KRISTOFF/ELSA STORY. Please understand that before you start reading. =)

I know, I have my other stories, and I'm working on them I promise!

If you like it, and want more...

_**PLEASE REVIEW! **_

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**Fear**

a "Frozen" fanfic

by _Sapphire-Raindrop_

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Chapter 1: the ice guy

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I'm an ice guy. Ask anyone, and they'll tell you that I'm the person to go to for anything in the snow or ice department. I'd take a saw, a pick and a frozen lake over stuffy castle dinners and fancy clothes any day of the week. I'm a winter guy, which is a bit of a problem because Anna is a summer sort of gal. Perhaps that's what drew me to her so strongly; maybe that's what makes my feelings for her so intense. Nothing like a bit of sun to melt my icy heart, huh? Gah, I've gotta stop hanging around Olaf so much; his sappiness is rubbing off on me.

So I'm an ice guy; we've established that fact. But what most people don't know is that as an ice guy, I'm also a fear guy. You cant be one without being the other.

Let me explain.

As an ice harvester, I have to cut through the ice I'm standing on, knowing that at any moment, it could splinter and I could fall into the frigid water. I trudge through the forest, knowing that there are wolves around me, waiting for me to falter. The blizzards are familiar, but they're still _dangerous_. There have been times when I wondered if I was going to make it out alive, times when I could almost _feel_ my heartbeat stuttering and faltering. I didn't have other people to shield me from that fear, I lived it and breathed it with no one but Sven to comfort me. I hunt for my meat, and sometimes I don't kill the animals quickly enough. I see a brief moment of pure terror in their eyes, fear in every movement they make. So yeah, you could say I'm an expert on fear.

The first time I laid eyes on the Queen was in her fantastic ice palace – don't even get me started on that place; I'll start crying. Anna had already gotten her hooks into me at that point, maybe that explains the lack of physical attraction I felt toward the beautiful blonde woman.

In any case, the first thing I noticed about her was the fear. It practically oozed from her, filling her eyes and her expression and her posture. In that moment, as she stared at her fallen sister, the Queen _was_ fear.

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this. I wouldn't blame you for being skeptical; the Queen brought back summer, she's happily reunited with Anna, and the kingdom loves her – magic and all. To the people of Arendelle, Anna included, the Queen let go of her fear and embraced her magic.

Maybe they're so easy to overlook the fear because they haven't lived with fear like I have.

It's been two weeks since the return of summer, and yet when I look at the Queen I still see a creature of fear. It's not obvious to those around her, but to someone like me it's plain to see if you know where to look. The way she flinches back from physical contact at first, the way she clenches her hands when approached by others, her shoulders hunching forward to make herself smaller. She smiles, but when spoken to her the smile falters, ever so slightly. If that's not fear, then my name's not Kristoff.

I'm not sure what to do with the knowledge. Telling Anna would result in immediate action, that's for sure. I cringe when I think of what Anna would do. She'd lock herself and the Queen in a closet and demand that her sister tell her what was wrong. Don't get me wrong, Anna's amazing, but subtlety isn't her strong suit. The two sisters love each other, but loving someone and being able to communicate with them effectively don't always go hand in hand.

Speaking of communication, I should probably spend less time wondering about the Queen's problems and more time about my own problems. I mean, I know that me and Anna kissed, but we haven't really moved forward from that point. Are we dating? Am I even_ allowed_ to date the princess? She seemed like she enjoyed kissing me, but she hasn't blown up about it like I expected her to. Sure, she's been busy with the castle opening up and everything, but this is _Anna _we're talking about!

She's the girl who was ready to marry a man she had known for a night, and couldn't shut up about it when asked. Anna couldn't conceal her emotions if her life depended on it. It's one of the things I like about her; it's a nice change from the gruff seriousness of mountain people and the riddles of my troll family.

Bah, whatever. The ice harvesting teams will be going out to harvest today, and if I want to join them I need to get my mind off of Anna and onto the ice where it belongs.

As friend of the Queen and her beloved sister, I now have _authority_, which is another word for a whole lot of responsibility. I'm now heading a hundred-man ice harvesting company, and as much as I love it I'm busier than I've ever been in my life. You would think that with her super handy ice powers, the Queen would put us ice harvesters out of business, but her duties prevent her from getting out much. Plus, I think that while the people are mostly okay with her magic, it still unnerves them to some extent. How anyone could be unnerved by flawless ice and snow is beyond me, but it is what it is.

Life isn't perfect, but I can't say I regret anything. I mean, I've given up my freedom to some extent, but I've gained so much in return. A steady job, a roof over my head, a real purpose in life, memories of hugging and kissing Anna that day on the bridge…gah, I'm thinking about her again! Stop it!

If I thought Anna being constantly on my mind was a bother…lately, the Queen's fear has been just as distracting.

…I have a feeling that all this pondering is going to come back to bite me in the butt.

Give me ice, give me life-threatening situations; I'm your guy.

But _feelings_?

Ugh.


	2. like lightning

Oop, I guess I'm on a roll with this one!

Hopefully the muse keeps giving me good ideas, fingers crossed!

If you want more, or have any comments/suggestions...

_**PLEASE REVIEW! **_

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Chapter 2: like lightning

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"What do you _mean_ you haven't seen Anna in two weeks!" Olaf practically screams in my ear, and I wince. Five minutes back from the ice harvest of the day and I already have Olaf on my case.

Sven snorts sympathetically, and I lean forward to pat the reindeer's neck. It's damp from a hard day's work. I glance over my shoulder at my shocked snowman friend.

"Is that a trick question?" I ask, lifting Sven's harness off and setting it on the stable rack. The spacious stable had been made specifically for the Arendelle ice harvester reindeer. I miss having Sven with me all the time, but he really seems to enjoy hanging with the other reindeer. Whatever makes him happy, I guess. My house is just down the street from the stables, so its not all that far away.

"No!" Olaf grumbles, and I laugh before I can stop myself. Seriously, how can I do anything else? I never expected to have a romance to fret over, much less have a _magical talking snowman_ be the one to fret. _I'm_ not fretting, not at all. I've barely given Anna and me a thought.

Yeah.

I heave a sigh as I wipe my sweaty forehead with the back of my hand. Gross. If I were back home in the mountains, I wouldn't have to worry about dripping sweat. The icy air would take care of that, and for a moment all I can do is miss it. Sven butts my shoulder with his snout, immediately bringing a smile to my face. I slip him a carrot, giving him one last pat before letting him into his stall.

Olaf follows me outside into the street, and we both watch the sun sink down toward the horizon. If I hurry, I'll be able to wash in time for my meeting with the Queen. Every two weeks there's a daily check-in to ensure productivity, and tonight is my first meeting with her. I'm…not quite sure what to expect.

I look over at my friend for a distraction, marveling like I always do at the Queen's continuous magic keeping him from melting.

Said snowman is glaring up at me. I groan, turning away to start walking toward my house. I had moved in immediately following the return of summer, and it wasn't anything fancy. But it was mine. I had all my belongings there, including trinkets from the trolls – my first stone ax and a few colorful grass rugs.

"Don't you walk away from me – wait up!" Olaf sputters, and I shake my head. The snowman trudges along, jogging a bit to keep ahead of me, his eyes wide and frantic.

"But you _love_ her!"

"Hey, why are you jumping to conclusions? I never said I loved her," I snap, and run a hand through my sweaty hair, looking anywhere but at Olaf. It was true, I had never said that I loved Anna and she certainly hadn't said it to me. Besides, wasn't _I_ the one to tell her that it was impossible to fall in love with someone after knowing them for a night?

Our adventure had been a day-long thing, and we kissed, but that was in the heat of the moment. It hadn't meant as much to her, obviously, because she wasted no time in getting back to the castle and suddenly becoming busier than a fox in mating season. No, wait, that wasn't the right comparison…ugh, now all I can think of is Anna running toward me, her eyes bright, golden-brown hair streaming behind her…her lips begging to be kissed–

Okay, seriously not helping.

"Sven–" Olaf had never gotten around to using my real name, which should have bothered me but it really didn't. "–I may be made of snow but I'm not _blind_! You two are crazy about each other!"

"She's a friend, Olaf. Sure, we kissed, but–"

"You _kissed_?" Olaf shrieks, and I kick his head off without thinking, intent on shutting him up. His face soars into a nearby bucket, and I feel half guilty and half elated that I somehow managed to get his head in the bucket.

"Sorry, buddy," I mutter as I rescue him and reattach his head to his body. The snowman shrugs, his goofy grin still in place.

"You _kissed Anna_!"

"Jeez, I just kicked your head clean off and all you can talk about is a stupid kiss…" I snarl under my breath, and stomp up the steps to my small house. It's made of clean wood, warm golden-brown and new, and it has that mountain feel that I like. It's not painted like the houses on either side of it, but that's the best part.

Olaf chortles. "Sven, this is _something_!"

I lean against the stair railing, and give Olaf a look. "Look, it was a one-time thing. She's been so busy with royal stuff, and I've barely got time to eat and sleep with this new job. It wouldn't work, so let's just leave it, okay? I've got to get ready for my meeting with the Queen."

To his credit, Olaf lets it go, heaving a great sigh. After saying his goodbyes, he shuffles off back toward the castle. It occurs to me that the snowman must have made the long trek from the castle to the stables…just to see _me_. The thought puts this heavy weight inside of my chest, but I shake it off and step inside the house. I've got to hurry if I want to get cleaned up in time for my first Ice Quarterly.

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Remember when I said that I'd take ice and snow over fancy clothes? Yeah, that still stands.

I grimace at my reflection in the shiny glass doors leading into the Queen's study. I probably shouldn't have let Sven choose my clothes. I smile at the memory of the reindeer invading the fancy boutique, but the smile disappears as I take in my reflection once more. I look like that pansy Hans, the one who nearly destroyed the kingdom. Maybe not _as_ bad, but close.

The thought of an ice-Anna frozen in a protective stance flashes before my eyes, and my frown deepens. I hadn't seen her since that day on the bridge, and for a brief second I'm tempted to turn around and search the castle for her. It's not that late, she could still be awake–

But before I can do so much as take a step, the doors open, and the guards usher me in. I nod curtly to them, and stride into the room. I forget my irritation for a moment, my mouth dropping open like a fish's.

Everyone seems to forget…I was raised by _trolls_! I'm not quite used to royal, elegant rooms. Ice and snow are my bread and butter, but in this moment I can see myself being happy indoors. I'm so awed that I forget to acknowledge the person I came to see.

The Queen's study is large and open, with windows open to let in the warm summer breeze. The shelves are filled with books; colorful colors glinting from their positions, the shelves curving up and almost reaching the ceiling. The rug under my feet was soft and inviting, and I followed the spiral pattern with a toe. But then I remembered that I was in the presence of the Queen. She is standing behind her desk; her blonde hair pulled back into a smooth bun atop her head, her glacier blue eyes guarded but kind.

I may have been raised by trolls, but even _I_ knew that I had to kneel in the presence of royalty. I drop to one knee, staring at the rug with a new respect. I have to make a good impression, otherwise how am I ever going to be allowed to be with Anna – now hold up, where did _that_ thought come from?

I scowl to myself, and hear a husky laugh.

"Please rise, Mr. Bjorgman," the Queen says softly, and I look up in surprise.

"You know my name?" I ask before I can shut my fat mouth, and the young woman arches a pale eyebrow. Her tall frame is clad in a rich blue dress that swishes airily around her ankles as she glides toward me. I hurriedly stand, only having to look down slightly – she is taller than Anna, whose head barely reaches my shoulder.

"Of course. Olaf talks of you often," she murmurs, and I can't explain the disappointment that fills me at her words. I guess I expected Anna – bright, bubbly Anna – to blab to her older sister about our kiss, about…but now I can see that I was being stupid. If Anna was serious about me, she would have been telling Elsa about me nonstop. Even better, she would have come to _see_ me.

"I see," I manage to get out through gritted teeth, and the Queen's face is smooth, too smooth. I've seen the Queen express emotion – love, fear, and anger – but in this moment I can't see anything. It unnerves me; I'm so used to Anna's blunt honesty and expressiveness.

The Queen stares at me for a moment longer, and then changes the subject back to the ice harvesting. We discuss it for a while, and I'm only half paying attention, most of my focus spent watching her pace around the room. She really is beautiful, sharp and clear like the ice I cut earlier this afternoon.

But behind the beauty is a caged animal. She is tense, her shoulders tight and her smile forced. I can see the fear in her eyes. She reminds me of an injured wolf; proud, not wanting to let you see its fear but afraid all the same. I see a flash of white, and notice the gloves covering her hands.

I don't know why, but the sight of those gloves makes me feel…sorry for her?

These fancy clothes must be getting to me, or maybe it's how warm this room is. Our discussion ends, and somehow we find ourselves facing each other, the Queen staring pensively out the window. I look outside as well, and we both look over the lake. Just two weeks ago, it had been frozen solid; it had almost been the Queen's final resting place.

I bow to her, and turn to leave when her voice rings out – so much lower than Anna's; more stern.

"Anna is my sister, Mr. Bjorgman, but that doesn't mean I'm all that familiar with her. My self-induced isolation put distance between us, and it pains me to say that…I don't know her that well at all. I love her, but I'm still getting to know her."

"Um," I blurt, trying to think of something to say.

"But I _do_ know that Anna is a desperate romantic. Or at least, she used to be. She wears her emotions like a cloak, because she has never taken them very seriously. The fact that she goes quiet when you are mentioned, that she _doesn't _swoon and giggle…it's worth thinking about."

I frown, because I don't get it. If Anna likes me, why would it make sense for her to _hide_ her feelings? Why was distancing herself somehow a _good_ thing? Gah, _women_!

"…Thanks?"

The Queen smiles, that same tense smile. I notice that her smile relaxes somewhat when I take another step backward. I open my mouth to say something, but close it again when the only things that come to mind are senseless soothing sounds – the kind you make to crying children. What's wrong with me? I need to get out of here.

"Goodnight, your Majesty," I say quickly, and the Queen hesitates before leaning against her desk, her eyes careful.

"You don't need to be so formal with me. Please, call me Elsa."

There is a bit of an awkward silence, but somehow it feels like a step forward. I smile, and open the door.

"The name's Kristoff, by the way."

Elsa smiles, the first true smile of the evening. "It's good to finally meet you, Kristoff."

I laugh as I realize that she's right. Even though we were both there when Anna froze and came back to life, as well as when Elsa appeased the people by creating an ice skating rink in the town square…we had never been formally introduced. It felt rather odd. I mean, I kissed her sister, and yet we never thought to shake hands and introduce ourselves. Weird.

I release the doorknob, and step forward so that Elsa and I are close enough to touch. I lift a hand, and she eyes it like a poisonous viper. I can see the fear trickling in, the nervousness she struggles to hide behind a tense smile.

"Nice to meet you, Elsa."

Elsa looks at my hand, and I give her a small smile.

_C'mon, _I silently urge.

She slowly – very slowly – puts her hand in mine.

"And you, Kristoff."

We shake, and her grip is warm, warmer than it should be. I've felt her magic, and I know that she is a being of cold. A good cold, the cold I feel on a brisk morning out on an ice harvest lake.

She releases my hand hastily, and I see the fear returning to her face. But it's slightly less, slightly softened. I turn and exit the room after bowing once more, leaving with a smile. I'm not sure what just went on between the two of us, but it felt…good? Not good like I feel with Anna, not _tha_t kind of good. But a different kind. Don't ask me to explain; you know I'm no good at the feelings stuff.

I pause outside the glass doors, and I look down the hallway, imagining that I saw a flash of golden-brown hair at the very end. But it's nothing, and I'm standing in the large entrance hall alone. Anna is nowhere in sight, and all I have is the memory of her leading me through this very hall on our way to see my mystery present – which turned out to be the newest model of the ice harvesting sled.

My smile fades, and the heaviness in my stomach returns.

I feel like such a hypocrite. I scoffed at Anna for having feelings for a guy she barely knew, and yet here I am, wishing she were here with me. She'd laugh at my outfit, try and make me feel better by fixing my vest with her small hands. She'd look up at me, her smile so honest and happy. I don't know what it is about her, but its just…Anna's just…_electric_, like lightning.

There I go again, trying to sound poetic. Get a grip, Kristoff.

With one last look at the empty hallway, I shake my head and make my way home.


	3. plans

Yay for updates!

**So I know there's not much Elsa in this story so far, and for that I'm sorry.** I have plans for more Elsa/Kristoff interaction, it's just difficult when one character is a Queen with constant duties and appointments, and the other is a full-time working ice harvester. Not to mention that the two aren't exactly sure what to make of each other….hmmmm. -_-

Anyway, I hope you Kristoff/Anna lovers enjoy this chapter!

**Author note: **I'm kind of iffy about Kristoff's character in this chapter. I'm a girl, and as such I tend to kind of feminize my characters. Normally its not a problem, as most of my OCs/POVs are female. This is the first time I'm trying to write soley from a male perspective. So all you male readers out there, help me out! Is Kristoff being too touchy-feely? Let me know!

If you want more or want to make any comments/suggestions...

_**PLEASE REVIEW! =)**_

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Chapter 3: plans

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Another week goes by before I finally see Anna.

It's in a place I never would have expected – the market square. I'm standing by the vegetable section, selecting carrots for Sven when I catch sight of her, laughing with a fabric vendor as she examines the wares. She's wearing this long blue dress, her shiny hair braided over each shoulder.

I can't really explain it, but seeing her sends this jolt of excitement through me, and all of my breath just _whooshes_ out of my chest. I know, I know, I sound like a sap, but it's true.

Now that we've established that I'm a sap, is it really surprising to hear that the first thing that I do is hunch to make sure she can't see me?

I'm afraid to approach her. I mean, what if she's forgotten all about me? It's been a month at least; to a romantic like her that's a lifetime, right? Heck, to _me_ it's feels like a lifetime! I pull my hat down over my eyes, my head bowing forward. I'm such an _idiot_.

"You gonna buy those?" the gruff voice of the vegetable vendor brings me out of my lament. I nod absentmindedly, pushing my hat back so I can count my money. I hand over the coins and heave my bag of carrots over my shoulder. I take a few steps away from the cart, and for all of my efforts to turn away and head home…I just can't. Call me crazy, but this is the first time I've seen Anna since the return of summer, and a small part of me wants to make the most of it.

I don't even have to be near her to see her train of thought. Even from a distance, her body language is enough to give her away. Her eyes are bright, and her hands wave around as she peers at the lengths of cloth. I hear the vendor laugh good-naturedly at the princess' enthusiasm, and the sound of Anna's returning laughter makes me smile. I've missed the sound of her laughter, and for a moment all I can do is suck in a deep breath.

Suddenly, she glances my way.

Our eyes meet.

I must look like an idiot, standing in the middle of the road with a bag of carrots. But she's smiling, so _happily_, and I can't help but feel a bit smug when she pulls away from the fabric vendor mid-sentence. She runs to me, her braids bouncing on her shoulders, and I don't realize I'm walking forward until we're inches away from each other. She's so small and fragile-looking, standing next to me.

But I know better. I've seen her face off against ice monsters; I witnessed her stepping in front of a blade to save her sister.

Anna is anything but weak. If her sister is ice, then Anna is fire, fierce and passionate and _bright. _

Oh no, she's staring up at me, say something Kristoff! Don't blow this!

"Uh, so…how about that sun?" I blurt out, and I very nearly die of embarrassment right then and there. Might as well pack my bags and move back to the mountains, I've officially ruined everything.

Anna giggles, and I look down to see that she's biting her lip. No, don't do that, now all I can think about is your mouth, and…_no_! Dammit, Anna, can't you see I'm in agony, here?

"Yeah, it's shining. Weird, huh?" she asks, and I snort. She tucks an invisible bit of hair behind her ear, and peeks up at me once more. I have no idea what's wrong with me. Here she is, right in front of me, and for the life of me I can't seem to find anything to say. I've been imagining this moment for weeks, and now that the moment's actually here I find that all coherency just vanishes into thin air. How _convenient_.

"Pretty weird," is my pathetic reply.

Anna smiles softly, and I automatically smile back because she may not have Elsa's flawless beauty, but _damn_ can she smile. Any kind of smile from Anna, and I'm done for.

"Are those for Sven?" Anna asks finally, and I have to take a moment to remember that I'm still holding the bag of carrots.

"Are those…oh yeah, these are for Sven. I always get extra nowadays, because he likes it when I give some to his friends at the stables."

Anna's face brightens. "Really? Can I come with you? I heard that the stables were built, but I haven't had time to go see them."

She's already moving to my side, and we both turn, the fabric vendor forgotten, everything blending into a pleasant blur because Anna wants to help me feed the reindeer.

"You don't need my permission, Your Highness," I tease, and Anna pushes at my shoulder with two hands. Her shove is so weak that I barely budge, but the fact that she tried is hilarious. I laugh, and that only riles her up more.

"Don't call me that!" she shrieks, and I dodge her attempt to shove me again.

We banter all the way to the stables, and it's like only a day has passed since we kissed on the bridge. She's the same Anna I remember, not that I expected her to change or anything.

I feel more relaxed than I have in a while, and its only when we reach the stables and I help her feed the reindeer their carrots that I can guess the reason why.

It's Anna. Finally seeing her again got rid of that anxiousness inside of my chest, an odd tension I didn't even know I was carrying until now.

What feels like a short time later, Anna pulls away from the stalls, her face creasing with disappointment.

"I should get back; Elsa and I have to go to some meeting about _taxes_…bleh!"

Anna makes a face, and I grimace in sympathy. I hear the word 'taxes' and all that comes to mind is lots and lots of paperwork. I still think that the guys who write that kind of stuff are purposefully trying to confuse people so that they end up paying more. But that's just a theory.

I nod, and put the empty bag of carrots in the waste bin next to the stable entrance. I walk her out, and the two of us face each other. In the light of the late afternoon, her blue eyes are really big and bright. I smile, and she smiles back. Did I mention that Anna has a really pretty smile? I mean _woah_.

I clear my throat, and rub the back of my head. "You should come back soon; we're getting some baby reindeer shipped in tomorrow, and I'm starting their training right away," I offer, and she lets out this inhuman shriek of delight. Ah, that must be where Olaf gets it. Jeez, it's not like I need to _hear _or anything.

"I'd _love_ to! Little tiny baby Svens…awwww I can't even handle it! Doe Friday work?"

"Friday?" I repeat dumbly, because Anna says it so nonchalantly. I'm equal parts relieved and guilty that I didn't initiate fast enough. But I push my worries aside, and nod in agreement. "Yeah, Friday should be good. I'll be starting at sunrise…but you can come later if you want–"

Anna shakes her head furiously, face creasing in earnest. "No, I can come at sunrise…it sounds super fun! So I'll see you here, at dawn, on Friday?"

I nod dumbly, and she and I are standing somewhat awkwardly, looking anywhere but at each other. I don't know if she's expecting a kiss or something – am I even expecting a kiss? I don't know, but before I can figure it out and do something about it Anna turns and leaves the stable. I slump against a pillar, and I look over to se Sven's smug face inches from mine.

"Shut up," I grumble, pushing him away, and stomping out of the stables. Sven's snarky snort makes my cheeks flare red, but I ignore it, unable to keep the smile off of my face.

But hey, I'm going up into the mountains with Anna! And this time, we wouldn't be on a dangerous mission to go find a magical queen! It's – dare I say it – a date…?

Nah, Anna couldn't have meant it to be like that. It's just a fun time with a friend, that's all. I'm not sure that I even want anything more with her – do I really want to pursue romance, what with all that's going on in my life?

I'm not sure what the warmth I get when I'm around her means. Out of all the annoying kingdom folk, she and her sister are definitely the_ least_ annoying. She doesn't treat me like I'm a lowly commoner – even though I totally am, compared to her.

But that's it. Anna is a _princess_. I'm just an ice harvester, no one special.

…that doesn't mean I can't relive that kiss every now and then, though. I fooled around with some mountain girls back when I still worked with the mountain ice harvester nomads. They were stiff and unyielding, and until recently I liked that sort of thing. It made me feel more like a mountain man, made me feel more connected to the ice and the snow.

But then Anna had to go and ruin all that. Kissing her was…I don't even know how to describe it. It wasn't stiff or unyielding, I can tell you that much.

And yet it made me feel more like a mountain man than any of those other girls' kisses had.

I sit on my bed, a bad feeling rising in my stomach as I consider it all. My head falls into my hands, and I groan into the silence of my bedroom.

I'm in so much trouble.


	4. off limits

Oh hello again!

I'm so sorry for the long update…long story short, I've been having a rough couple of weeks, and the will to write has literally been sucked out of me. It took me FOREVER to start writing this chapter, but after i got into it I was SO HAPPY because everything seemed to flow nicely and I think I've got Kristoff's voice down which is a relief.

I hope you enjoy the chapter!

**I know I always ask you guys to review, but I really need some lovin' right now, so if you'd be so kind...**

PLEASE REVIEW! I'd really appreciate the feedback!

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Chapter 4: off limits

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The next few days pass rather quickly, and suddenly it's Friday morning. I've woken an hour or so before dawn all my life, and so when my eyes open to darkness I'm not surprised. Call me crazy, but instead of hiding away in the warmth of my bed, I'm eager to get out of the covers and into the chilly air of the morning. I don't know if I've made it clear enough, but I'm a fan of everything and anything cold.

I splash water on my face, and glance up at the mirror as I'm brushing my teeth. I shaved yesterday so I don't need to do that. I rinse the minty foam out of my mouth and lean my hands against the simple granite sink, frowning at my reflection. I never had a mirror in the mountains, never needed one, and to have one now is really strange. I mean, I knew what I looked like _before_ owning a mirror – one of the many perks of working around iced over ponds and lakes.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm meeting Anna this morning that has me all worked up over what I look like. My hair is a mess, as usual, but thankfully my hat will cover that. As for the rest…

I don't know if I'm considered handsome. Honestly, I don't. In any case, I've never really cared about what girls think of me. My troll family wasn't really the best judge of human attractiveness, and the mountain nomads weren't known for their high standards when it came to romantic partners. Not to mention I never got very attached to any of the girls – by the time I was old enough, I was pretty much set on being alone.

Before Anna, my life was so simple. Now, I'm suddenly worrying about whether my nose is too bulgy, or if my chin is too round. I never _cared_ about how I looked before I met Anna.

I scoff. I'm_ not _going to get all worked up over a _girl_. To make my declaration more definite, I reach up and remove the mirror from the wall, turning it around and sliding it in between the sink and the wall. There, no more reflection. Problem solved.

I finish getting dressed in my winter gear, shoving my hat on my head before yanking the front door open to exit the house.

I very nearly trip over the threshold, because Anna is standing _right outside my door. _

"Good morning!" she chirps, like a little bird, and I can't say anything because I'm too busy staring down at her like an idiot. I expected her to meet me at the stables, not wait outside my door like some kind of stalker. How long has she been waiting? Had she even thought of _knocking_?

You know what the really messed up part is? I _still _think she's cute, even when she's being creepy. I groan, and rub my forehead with a mitten-covered hand. It's official: I'm going insane, and it's all Anna's fault.

"Um, hey," is my awkward, stilted response. I close the door without breaking her gaze, the lock clicking softly. Anna rocks back and forth on her heels, her smile slightly less…smiley than it was when I first saw her.

"Sorry, this must seem really weird, huh? Me just showing up at your house and all…" she muttered, her eyes leaving mine and locking on her feet. I feel a wave of guilt at the sight of her obvious discomfort, and knew that I'm mostly to blame for that, what with my awkward response. But can you blame me? I mean, what's a guy supposed to do when the girl he sort of might possibly like in a more-than-just-friends sort of way just _shows up _at his house unannounced?

"My porch is forever yours to lurk on, _Your Highness_," I say, trying and failing to keep a straight face. And like clockwork, her uncertainty disappears and her cheeks flare. She follows me down the stairs and onto the street, her blazing eyes even bluer against the dark green of her cloak.

"I _told_ you not to call me that, you…you…" Anna struggles, trying to form an insult but failing miserably. She finally gives up. "Are you ever going to let that go?" she asks, scowling up at me.

I don't even hesitate. "Not a _chance_."

Anna lets out a groan of resignation. She's so shamelessly disgruntled that I can't help but laugh. There it is, that little something about Anna, that _fearlessness_ that just…hooks me. I remember her back on the mountain, red-faced and furious, grabbing snow to throw at the huge ice-monster the Queen had created.

I wonder if anyone's told her how ridiculously_ kissable_ she is when she's angry. On second thought, a prospective suitor is the only one who would tell her that, and the thought of someone like Hans whispering that in her ear…for a split second, I'm grateful that she's been locked away in the castle for all of these years. No one's told her that she's kissable, yet. To the best of my knowledge, I'm the only person she's ever kissed. No one _knows_ how kissable she is. I'm the only one.

I cringe at my train of thought; am I really that selfish?

Anna chooses that moment to turn and smile at me, and I quickly look away.

_She's a princess, she's a princess, she's a _princess–

She's off limits to someone like me.

"Sooooo…what's the plan?" Anna asks, and I realize that we've arrived at the stables. I feel bad for going so long without saying something to her, but in my defense, I was a bit busy – you know, with _stomping down_ on the part of me that wanted to push her against the nearest wall and kiss her brains out.

I really need to get a hold of myself. Otherwise, I'll do something stupid. I can't risk what I have with Anna. I _can't_.

"Well, today is training day, so we're gonna take a few of the young ones out to start getting them used to moving around on the ice," I say, already planning out in my mind where we'll spend the day. There's this great little pond, and I know for a fact that my harvesting teams will be at least ten miles away from there. It's better for the new reindeer. That's my hasty justification. The presence of other, older reindeer would add unnecessary pressure. It's not for any other reason.

I grab four soft rope halters, and drape them over my shoulder.

Anna is peering around, looking for the reindeer, and I smile, gesturing to her left. She turns the corner of the barn, and sees the outside grazing field, where at least ten baby reindeer are prancing around. I wince at her girlish scream of delight, but can't help but agree with the sentiment. Baby reindeer are my weakness; I'll admit it proudly. Kittens and puppies don't do much for me, but hand me an awkward, fuzzy little reindeer and my heart turns to mush.

"Ohmygodthey'reso_cute_!" she gasps, and without a thought to the possible danger she hops the fence and skips over to where the reindeer are playing. I jump after her, expecting the reindeer to scatter in the face of this screaming, crazy-seeming human. Or worse, for some of the bolder ones to charge at her.

But of course, of _course_ they take to her like bees to honey. Of _course_ they do.

I roll my eyes, and slow to a walk, watching Anna rub the young reindeers' heads and coo to them. I reach the group, and select the four reindeer closest to Anna. She demands to take one, and I hand her the lead rope of the most docile looking of the bunch. She's so happy to be of use, and I smile at her enthusiasm. Her boots are getting muddy, but she doesn't even care. Her skirts are already spotted with dirt, but she just keeps on chattering about how she's _great_ with animals.

"You should see the ducks back at the castle. When I was twelve, there was this big group of ducklings. Their mom had died, and so I went out every day and fed them. They followed me around for _months_. It was so cute! My parents weren't thrilled about it, but luckily it stopped once they all grew up. Most of them left, but a few of them stayed, and had babies of their own!"

I have no difficulty in imagining a young Anna meticulously caring for tiny little ducklings. I can see it now; reddish-gold braids, a smaller, rounder face. Her nose would scrunch up in concentration; she would make sure that _each_ little bird got his or her share.

I realize that this is the first time that Anna and I have just…talked. Not talked as in arguing about the merits of marrying someone after knowing them for a day, not talking as in discussing how to best reach the Queens ice palace, not playfully teasing and poking fun. We're actually getting to _know_ each other. And it's surprisingly _easy. _

Being friends with Anna is simple. The feelings that come along with being friends with her, that come along with having kissed her and having no idea how to proceed? Not so simple. But when I'm with Anna, when she's looking at me, when she's smiling and laughing with me…it really is simple.

I help Anna onto one of the gentler adult reindeer, and swing up atop Sven. I take the leads of all four young reindeer, and we set off at an easy pace, so that the younger ones don't get too tired. It would be at least three hours before we reached snow, if we kept a steady speed.

Anna contentedly talks about her childhood for a good solid hour, and I'm surprised at how content I am to just listen.

"What was growing up like for you, Kristoff?" she asks out of the blue, and I sit up in my saddle, frowning at the sudden swarm of memories. Sven senses my discomfort, and cranes his head back to nibble at my boot, silently giving me support. I pat his neck, and Anna quickly speaks.

"I…I'm sorry, I just…I didn't know that…I'm sorry," she stutters, and hides behind her hood – it's gotten colder, the snow is less patchy and more evenly dispersed on the mountainside. The new reindeer are eagerly exploring the cold white stuff, snorting and grunting at the feel of it on their snouts. I jerk them up gently, urging the group forward. Anna's reindeer is walking beside mine, and I can feel the tension in the air.

"No, it's okay," I assure her, even though my throat is tightening and my chest is screaming for me to shut up and pretend she didn't ask so personal a question.

"Is it?" Anna asks, and I'm so surprised by her words that I look over at her. She's giving me this…well, the only way I can describe her look is a _deep_ look. It's silly, I know, but it's the only way I know how to properly define it. It's deep, like the deep blue of glaciers. But not cold. Warm, because Anna is everything _but _cold.

I swallow, and look away.

And suddenly, I'm _telling her_.

Telling her about how my parents died before I was old enough to remember them. About how my uncle took me in, but also about how being alone was preferable. About how much he would drink, and how he would yell and scream at me. He would never hit me, but he told me so many awful things. That my mother died giving birth to me, that my father had killed himself rather than live without her. That every day I was alive was a day my uncle would have to live without his beloved sister.

Ice harvesting had been my saving grace. I was eight when the ice-harvesting men noticed my skill with ice. I always liked being outside – it meant not having to be around my uncle – and ice carving had just come naturally. One of the men had taken pity on me, and given me Sven as a present, offering to take me along with them when they went ice harvesting. I spent nearly all my time with those men, learning their ways, pushing aside all the pain my uncle caused me and just letting it go with every strike of the ice pick.

I tell Anna about my troll family, how I grew up with them, and the seconds span into minutes, the minutes into hours. I can't seem to stop _talking_.

Finally, we reach the meadow, and I manage to shut my fat mouth. I've probably scared her off, I've never told _anyone_ about my parents – well, except for my troll mother, Bulda. I glance over at Anna, expecting awkward silence and her to hurriedly change the subject.

But instead, she looks at me, and she's giving me that _deep _look again. It's so different from the usual brightness and cheeriness of Anna's face, and it's almost mesmerizing. Sappy? Yes. Doesn't make it any less true, though.

"What?" I ask, more to distract myself than to get an actual answer. I slide off of Sven, and let the four baby reindeer loose from their halters – they're domesticated enough to not wander off, especially in such deep snow. After hooking the halters onto Sven's saddle, I walk over to Anna's reindeer and reach up to help her off. She smiles down at me, and leans forward. My hands encircle her slender waist, her ribcage framed by my fingers. She doesn't slide down, and I don't even think of letting go or asking why she's taking so long.

I can feel every breath she takes, and for some odd reason the sensation _fascinates_ me.

A few long moments later, Anna slides off, and I set her down slowly, not really aware of how intently I'm looking at her.

"I'm just…happy that I met you," is Anna's simple response, and moves past me to start petting the baby reindeer. I blink, and have to replay her words several times in my head before they really sink in. I turn, and I watch her for a moment, feeling this squiggly sort of warmth in my chest. Her hair glints in the sunlight, and her cloak flutters in the soft breeze.

"Me too," I say, too softly for her to hear. But the way she turns her head and looks at me as I say it…it almost seems like she _did_ hear it.

"Did you say something?" she asks, shattering the illusion that perhaps she heard, and I shake my head, moving forward to join her. Sven and the other adult reindeer settle for nibbling at the bark of nearby trees, watching as Anna and I spend the day coaxing the reindeer onto the thick ice covering the pond.

* * *

"You _didn't_!" Anna declares, her eyes wide and shocked. I laugh at her expression, and shrug.

"It was Hallow's Night," is my response, and my justification.

I had just finished telling her the story of how I snuck around the forest dresses as a wolf-man, scaring the living daylights out of a pair of Arendelle soldiers making their way back home on Hallow's Night. The whole point of Hallow's Night is to dress up and be scary. I was simply upholding the kingdom tradition.

Anna lets out a loud snort of laughter, and covers her mouth to stifle the sound as it echoes through the streets. We're walking back to the castle after a long day in the mountains; the sun is beginning to set, the sky shifting from blue to a deep purple-orange-red. I stare up at it, willing it to stay the same for just a little longer. Can't it see that I'm having the most fun I've had in a long, long time? Surely that's enough reason for time to slow down?

"You're terrible," Anna says, but I can hear in her voice that she's grinning. She doesn't mean it, and she knows that I know it. I smirk, and she cheekily sticks her tongue out, flicking her head so her braids bounce around her head a little. I glance at her hair, smiling wider at the sight of a pine needle here and there. As the day went on, I made it a sort of challenge to see how many pine needles I could get into her braids without her noticing. I got to thirty-two before losing interest. I wonder if she'll suspect that I had anything to do with it, or if she'll just assume that pine needles in one's hair was a natural result of riding through the woods.

"I really am," I agree with her, shaking my head at the memory of the soldiers' screams. If I hadn't been looking right at them, I would have assumed it was two teenage girls screaming rather than two fully-grown men.

"But I suppose I could get used to it," Anna says quietly, and I try my hardest not to smile too widely at her words.

We reach the castle gates, which thankfully are still open – they close every night at sunset, and open just before dawn – and the truth sinks in once more, sobering my excitement.

Anna is Fiesty-Pants – that nickname got her almost as riled up as Your Highness did – and she's the person I had kissed nearly a month ago on this very bridge. She's the first human being I've ever told about my past. Besides Sven, she's the first real friend I've ever had.

But above all of that, Anna is a _princess_.

And me? I'm just Kristoff, the ice harvester.

We face each other, and Anna's smile has faded somewhat. She's shy all of a sudden, looking up at me and down at her feet in quick succession. Her fingers scrunch around her cloak, twisting and pulling at the soft-looking material. If I weren't so sobered by my rather depressing reminder of Anna's royal status, I would have laughed at her obvious nervousness.

Instead, I stand there, feeling the silence thicken until it forms this _wall_ between us. The day is ending, _our_ day is ending, and yet I can't find it in myself to be the first to walk away.

Anna has stopped fidgeting, I notice, and she's staring at me with those big blue eyes of hers. Her hair is like fire in the light of the sunset, and I wish I could reach out to touch it. I wish that it were possible for me to even _hope_ for a chance to let her braid slip between my fingers.

The gates creak, loudly and suddenly enough to make both of us jump, and the moment between us is broken. I'm not sure what just happened – was she trying to communicate something to me via meaningful staring, because I don't think I got the message if she was.

"Well…I'll see you around, I guess," Anna says, because now she's out of time. The hopeless sap in me imagines that she sounds sad to be leaving. I nod, shoving my hands deep in my pockets, clearing my throat. She backs up a few steps, and then turns, walking slowly into the castle courtyard.

Anna turns to smile at me in farewell, and my mind flashes back to the last time I let her walk into the castle alone. In the memory, her hair is white, her body weak and frail, her eyes appearing over her shoulder and burning into mine as the gates–

–close with a resounding thud.

I stare at the wooden planks that make up the gates, and take a deep breath before turning and heading home. I don't allow myself to think of Anna on the way, focusing on the schedule for the next few days, the shipments and the harvesting teams. The Queen recently requested more ice than usual, seeing as she would be hosting a small trading company from across the sea in three weeks, and wanted plenty of ice sculptures for display.

On a whim, I decide to say goodnight to Sven, and stepped into the barn, seeing the saddles resting neatly on their racks as I walked by. I rubbed Sven's forehead, trying to ease the tension in my shoulders. Sven nuzzles against me, and I hug his thick neck.

I pass the saddles again on my way out, but something blue catches my eye. I pause, and notice two blue shapes poking out of one of the saddle pouches. I reach forward, and yank out a pair of small blue gloves. I recognize them at once, and I can't help myself – a huge grin spreads across my face.

I'm sure it's well within my rights as a friend of the princess to return her lost gloves. In this case, it'll be even _less_ suspicious, because I'll already be in the castle on official business.

My next Ice Quarterly is in two days.


End file.
